Why am I writing this? I suppose it's more for me than anything else. I need some sort of outlet for what I experience and sometimes feel. Not that any personal or private details will be posted on this blog (all of it will be sanitized), but still....just a sounding board for me..... How shall I begin......... About me ( initially and as it applies in order to start ): I'm in my mid to late 40's. I'm a very passionate person. My feelings run deep, and for the ones that I love, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Maybe to a fault. When I feel, my feelings run wide and deep. It's hard for me to hide my feelings ( someone said that to hide your true feelings is to lie ). I can honestly say, that I have never been "in love" until I met her. I thought my "first love" was true love, but what I have discovered, is that I had no knowledge of what true love really was, up until this point . I've always had my guard up...thorough all of my relationships, as long as I can remember. I never thought I could ever lower my defenses to anyone, never thought I would find the one that would achieve it. I never felt close to anyone, never wanted to come home to anyone at the end of the day, never enjoyed spending time with anyone, never looked forward to talking to anyone openly or honestly, until she came into my life. She is my world, and holds my heart and soul in her hands...and always will.
Being human...I have fears, like everyone else. Guess my biggest fears in this relationship are being lied to...and being cheated on. Quite honestly, neither of these two fears bothered me in any of my previous relationships. I now know that I really didn't care if it happened at all, I'd just walk away without a ounce of pain or hurt. Things are different this time. I can't even imagine what would happen now. It really scares me.
About her:...... Where should I start. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. I have never in my life, been with a woman that I'm more in tune with. She is amazing! Not just because of the way she is, but what she has been through. I believe in my heart of hearts, that most people wouldn't have come throught as strong as she did, after going through what she did. She is passionate, sensitive, driven, intelligent, witty, and a fantastic mother.......
